Curious as it might sound, I attended a Landmark Forum Session few days back. I am sorry to say – it gave me the creeps.
If you are blinking at ‘Landmark Forum Session’ – It’s a personality development forum where in people come in and solve problems, cross hurdles which has been impeding them for years together. In the words of a rather loud trainer for the day – the forum helps you to realize the context of your life and also provides you with tool / technology (!) to deal with that context.
Why did I attend is the question that is ringing in your head right now. I met an angel couple of months back. I will jump in a well if she was to ask me to…this was one such well. You will get more meat to chew on this one…but not now.
I will give an insight into the session – in the shortest and most crisp manner possible. The landmark team had a bunch of people who had completed their course and were giving their feedbacks as to how they benefited with the course. And curious enough, a lot of them had regained their families. Really?! There was a man whom with my minimal knowledge I assessed to be proud, fixated with the concept and inflexible in mind. I assumed he was the trainer. Once the session of thanking and stories of transformation was done, they got on with real business.
The trainer started his marketing stunt. He offered guests to ask questions and provided insight about the program through the answers. Some questions were candid and like any experienced ‘talker’ some incoherent answers got him out of that muddle. After which the fee structure was announced and the time lines. Until this time I was really ok with the whole sales pitch that was made. To be fair to the trainer, he also mentioned that he is not doing it for charity. Its business.
At the end of this instance the trainer announced you can find volunteers sporting a yellow badge to help you, if you may want to register. I turned around to take a look. I could see volunteers flowing into the hall from different corners. They looked like a military unit surging on an unsuspecting senate for a coup. They had a mean look in their eyes, almost fixed at some predefined targets. One person had locked his eyes on me. And he moved swiftly towards me as if to pin me down before I could get up from my seat. At that moment, a seemingly peaceful session broke open into a chaos.
I dodged the guy, thanks to an old lady who got in his way and walked ever so slowly towards a registration counter. I avoided eye contact with everyone with a yellow badge and walked fast, as if I was going to pick something up. I told my thanks to the person who took me there and locked my eyes on the exit sign and dodged all yellow tagged ‘volunteers’ [who, I strongly feel are sales execs of Landmark].
As I stepped out of that hall, in my head, I could hear the commentators go, TOUCHDOWN!!! And I broke off into a dance!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Good Deed = No Bad Deed
Few days back, I returned to Bangalore from outside the city by bus. It was very early and as the bus eased into its stop, I could see auto drivers swarming up against the door to gobble up every passenger who got out. I have been doing this for years hence I did the customary ‘not looking in the eye’ trick and walked away. The guys who follow you are usually who can’t elbow their way to the front. They are usually milder.
I negotiated with one such ‘milder’ auto guy. He took some bizarre short cuts and we were zipping down the ‘Ring Road’ in no time. This road is usually deserted and at 4:30 on a wet morning, it looks like outer space. No life around. Suddenly I could not hear the auto engine anymore. He was fiddling with the throttle and then it all gave way and he parked it to one side. He got off and vanished behind the auto. A chill ran down my spine. I thought this could be the encounter of my life time.
Moments later many auto guys stopped by. I was pretty sure they are all wondering how to divide the loot. I was prepared for the attack and thought of even making the first move. The driver came up front and gave it another try and viola! It started. He explained to me that the darn rains had got his spark plug wonky.
I was still in my ‘ready to attack’ mode. Not realizing what a fool I was making of myself in my head. Slowly the auto driver was looking like a hero. He did not loot me! How many people do that?! He must be one gem of a person. A real good guy.
I dunno about you, but I seldom trust people today. It’s the stories you hear, the news that you read. There aren’t many good people around anymore. I am alert today, lest I fall into a trap that may have been laid by any random guy on the street. I assume most people have an intention to hurt me. I am not abnormal. I am just another average Indian citizen.
I am guessing, earlier it took a lot more to be seen as a good guy. A lot of ‘good deeds’. Today it’s a little easier. Just don’t do anything bad, you will be a hero.
I negotiated with one such ‘milder’ auto guy. He took some bizarre short cuts and we were zipping down the ‘Ring Road’ in no time. This road is usually deserted and at 4:30 on a wet morning, it looks like outer space. No life around. Suddenly I could not hear the auto engine anymore. He was fiddling with the throttle and then it all gave way and he parked it to one side. He got off and vanished behind the auto. A chill ran down my spine. I thought this could be the encounter of my life time.
Moments later many auto guys stopped by. I was pretty sure they are all wondering how to divide the loot. I was prepared for the attack and thought of even making the first move. The driver came up front and gave it another try and viola! It started. He explained to me that the darn rains had got his spark plug wonky.
I was still in my ‘ready to attack’ mode. Not realizing what a fool I was making of myself in my head. Slowly the auto driver was looking like a hero. He did not loot me! How many people do that?! He must be one gem of a person. A real good guy.
I dunno about you, but I seldom trust people today. It’s the stories you hear, the news that you read. There aren’t many good people around anymore. I am alert today, lest I fall into a trap that may have been laid by any random guy on the street. I assume most people have an intention to hurt me. I am not abnormal. I am just another average Indian citizen.
I am guessing, earlier it took a lot more to be seen as a good guy. A lot of ‘good deeds’. Today it’s a little easier. Just don’t do anything bad, you will be a hero.
Chaos – The key to Stability
Consciously or not, we strive for only one thing in life. Stability. We may project stability in one way or the other. For some it’s a job, for some its relationships, for some it’s a home, for some it’s a fat bank balance. Everyone has a definition for stability and I bet it’s different in each case.
The big questions are – How and when. How do we get there and when will we get there. For anything to become stable, it must first have its chaos phase. It’s the rule of the jungle, so to say. There is no stability without chaos. It’s imperative. As I said, stability might mean something entirely different for you and for me. But chaos almost always means – sweat, hard work, disappointment, failures, roadblocks, hurdles. It’s almost always problems.
I tend to take refuge when ever faced with problems. I blame someone – from time to parents, all have been prey to this blame game. I always find a way to shield myself from the problem. Until I figured the need to taste the flavor of this chaos. Meet it. Look it in the eye and walk your way through it. The chaos will allow you to flip every stone around and give you a million perspectives. You will solve your chaos. But the moment one hides behind the shield of a blame that you created, you have lost sight of the chaos itself.
The key to achieving stability is to accept the chaos and moving forward. I am dealing with one such chaos in my life right now. I was scared to face it. Now I am staring it in the eye and I am walking through my chaos.
The big questions are – How and when. How do we get there and when will we get there. For anything to become stable, it must first have its chaos phase. It’s the rule of the jungle, so to say. There is no stability without chaos. It’s imperative. As I said, stability might mean something entirely different for you and for me. But chaos almost always means – sweat, hard work, disappointment, failures, roadblocks, hurdles. It’s almost always problems.
I tend to take refuge when ever faced with problems. I blame someone – from time to parents, all have been prey to this blame game. I always find a way to shield myself from the problem. Until I figured the need to taste the flavor of this chaos. Meet it. Look it in the eye and walk your way through it. The chaos will allow you to flip every stone around and give you a million perspectives. You will solve your chaos. But the moment one hides behind the shield of a blame that you created, you have lost sight of the chaos itself.
The key to achieving stability is to accept the chaos and moving forward. I am dealing with one such chaos in my life right now. I was scared to face it. Now I am staring it in the eye and I am walking through my chaos.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Cut those nails, kill that itch
Have you ever wondered why you don’t feel that itch on your head right after cutting your nails?
I have, not since it’s intellectually stimulating, but there are some itches that I want to get rid of. The moment you cut your nails short, the itch at the back of your head seems to vanish. I am guessing the brain tells the itch – no point, he can’t scratch anyway. I ‘m not gonna ask him to scratch.
But this might as well be true. For sure, I stop scratching my head the moment I cut my nails.
There are other types of itches that we so dearly want to get rid of. My Everest, Spending. I just can’t seem to stop spending. This itch is scratching my wallet dry. I sure want to get rid of this one. Maybe I should cut the nail out for this itch as well… lock my credit card in some shelf.
Every itch in our life has a nail that can be cut. Cut those nails, kill that itch.
I have, not since it’s intellectually stimulating, but there are some itches that I want to get rid of. The moment you cut your nails short, the itch at the back of your head seems to vanish. I am guessing the brain tells the itch – no point, he can’t scratch anyway. I ‘m not gonna ask him to scratch.
But this might as well be true. For sure, I stop scratching my head the moment I cut my nails.
There are other types of itches that we so dearly want to get rid of. My Everest, Spending. I just can’t seem to stop spending. This itch is scratching my wallet dry. I sure want to get rid of this one. Maybe I should cut the nail out for this itch as well… lock my credit card in some shelf.
Every itch in our life has a nail that can be cut. Cut those nails, kill that itch.
Being a HiPo
There is a new species, discovered recently. The HiPos. And before you judge me, of course I don’t watch animal planet – HiPo is a short form of High Potential. Every organization is having one program or the other to appease and provide a ‘fast track’ career path to these HiPos. The name actually cracks me up...I wonder if all ‘HiPos’ are fat and sweat pink.
Since this is a new species, just like our confused high school teachers, the managers of today also work well with their imaginative self. There are a lot of assumptions and myths about a HiPo. Since I am also occasionally ‘accused’ of being a HiPo where I work, let me try and throw some light around that corner…
The only thing in a HiPos mind is work: Sometimes managers mistake passion for obsession. If you show passion at work, the manager feels that you are obsessed with work and hence give more work…anyway he loves working, give him this one as well! Loading a person just makes him tired and it does not make him unearth super human powers.
HiPos hate their families: Many managers believe and the rest hope and pray that their high performing employee hates his family. He loves to come to office early and leave as late as possible. If there is no family even better. They believe it helps in keeping focus on work, distractions can affect the work. How prudent!
Anything goes: Managers feel that a HiPo is like a recycle bin. You can throw anything at them at all, and be rest assured that they will do it. More often than not, HiPos are asked to take up things that smarter non-HiPos are not willing to take up. Content of the work does not matter. Since they are obsessed with work anyway…
The myth of fast track career: This myth has been working since long. They say, you are on a fast track career and hence, wait for another 6 months to get the ‘right’ overseas opportunity. And don’t look at the average performing guy, who is already gone overseas twice, as an example. He is in a first come first serve basis. So much for being in the limelight!
HiPos are loyal and hence they won’t leave: Managers like to believe that a HiPo is so loyal to the company that he will never think of leaving. Hence treat them well, would have been a very logical conclusion. But hold on, it also gives a chance to take them for granted. This is surely more fun from the looks of it.
Here’s a thought, maybe it’s not worth trying so very hard. Being a HiPo in one organization is no great achievement. Be a HiPo at home. That is much more gratifying and rewarding than any company can ever offer.
Since this is a new species, just like our confused high school teachers, the managers of today also work well with their imaginative self. There are a lot of assumptions and myths about a HiPo. Since I am also occasionally ‘accused’ of being a HiPo where I work, let me try and throw some light around that corner…
The only thing in a HiPos mind is work: Sometimes managers mistake passion for obsession. If you show passion at work, the manager feels that you are obsessed with work and hence give more work…anyway he loves working, give him this one as well! Loading a person just makes him tired and it does not make him unearth super human powers.
HiPos hate their families: Many managers believe and the rest hope and pray that their high performing employee hates his family. He loves to come to office early and leave as late as possible. If there is no family even better. They believe it helps in keeping focus on work, distractions can affect the work. How prudent!
Anything goes: Managers feel that a HiPo is like a recycle bin. You can throw anything at them at all, and be rest assured that they will do it. More often than not, HiPos are asked to take up things that smarter non-HiPos are not willing to take up. Content of the work does not matter. Since they are obsessed with work anyway…
The myth of fast track career: This myth has been working since long. They say, you are on a fast track career and hence, wait for another 6 months to get the ‘right’ overseas opportunity. And don’t look at the average performing guy, who is already gone overseas twice, as an example. He is in a first come first serve basis. So much for being in the limelight!
HiPos are loyal and hence they won’t leave: Managers like to believe that a HiPo is so loyal to the company that he will never think of leaving. Hence treat them well, would have been a very logical conclusion. But hold on, it also gives a chance to take them for granted. This is surely more fun from the looks of it.
Here’s a thought, maybe it’s not worth trying so very hard. Being a HiPo in one organization is no great achievement. Be a HiPo at home. That is much more gratifying and rewarding than any company can ever offer.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Someone once said, ‘One day, it would be hard to believe that a man of Mahatam’s stature and nature walked this ground. And then he would be a god’.
Kashmir. Bhopal. Mumbai. Manipur. Naxals,Dirty Cops. Dirtier Politicians.
I am a patriot. I love my country. I am proud that my grandfather was one amongst the thousands who sacrificed a good part of their lives to gain this freedom. But I am inclined to think today, there is something wrong with us.
Look around. We have issues with Pakistan, China, Srilanka, Bangaladesh, Nepal. That’s our neighbors. When you think of it, we are not in good terms with any of our neighbors. If I am not in good terms with any of my neighbors, then definitely I am doing something wrong. When I sit down to watch news every night, this feeling deepens.
The only thing that I thought was strong in our country was the judicial system. Latest can of worms makes you think otherwise. Everyone seems to be on the wrong side. Or is it that I have missed the plot somewhere?
In China, a large section of people believe that India is a not a country but a conglomeration of countries. They strongly believe in liberating a few as well. If we run down the lane a little, it sounds bang on. 63 years back, some of our leaders worked hard on making this one country. Today, sadly, we have not been able to sustain.
We are being encroached with ease around the borders. I used to wonder why this was so simple. They were claiming and we were complying. The reason, I think is because, ‘India’ is not one thought. It’s a different thought for a person from Mumbai to one in Chennai. It means a lot different when a Kashmiri says India, and when you go into the villages of the ‘red corridor’ it takes a different meaning all together.
Years back, one old man was able to make us all think in one direction, bring us all together. We followed him, and he led us to freedom. No matter what language, color or religion, when he said India, it only meant one thing – our country.
Maybe he was different.
Maybe he was gifted.
Maybe he was God.
Kashmir. Bhopal. Mumbai. Manipur. Naxals,Dirty Cops. Dirtier Politicians.
I am a patriot. I love my country. I am proud that my grandfather was one amongst the thousands who sacrificed a good part of their lives to gain this freedom. But I am inclined to think today, there is something wrong with us.
Look around. We have issues with Pakistan, China, Srilanka, Bangaladesh, Nepal. That’s our neighbors. When you think of it, we are not in good terms with any of our neighbors. If I am not in good terms with any of my neighbors, then definitely I am doing something wrong. When I sit down to watch news every night, this feeling deepens.
The only thing that I thought was strong in our country was the judicial system. Latest can of worms makes you think otherwise. Everyone seems to be on the wrong side. Or is it that I have missed the plot somewhere?
In China, a large section of people believe that India is a not a country but a conglomeration of countries. They strongly believe in liberating a few as well. If we run down the lane a little, it sounds bang on. 63 years back, some of our leaders worked hard on making this one country. Today, sadly, we have not been able to sustain.
We are being encroached with ease around the borders. I used to wonder why this was so simple. They were claiming and we were complying. The reason, I think is because, ‘India’ is not one thought. It’s a different thought for a person from Mumbai to one in Chennai. It means a lot different when a Kashmiri says India, and when you go into the villages of the ‘red corridor’ it takes a different meaning all together.
Years back, one old man was able to make us all think in one direction, bring us all together. We followed him, and he led us to freedom. No matter what language, color or religion, when he said India, it only meant one thing – our country.
Maybe he was different.
Maybe he was gifted.
Maybe he was God.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Comfortably Numb
Every afternoon after lunch, at work, I take a stroll through the campus. A 5 minute stroll which is very pleasant given the kind of campus I work out of. Once, I noticed there were a bunch of guys who were standing in the shade and having a casual discussion and seemed to be enjoying it. As I got closer I could see, one of them dished out a handful of mint candies and handed one over to each of them. All of them in a swift move opened the wrapper and threw the candy into their mouth and in a follow-through; with precision of a Federrer back-hand dumped the wrapper into the lawn. These were well educated, over-paid executives who just did that. And this, when there are dustbins all around the campus!
But I did nothing. I walked past them and came back to my desk. I do that often when I come to think of it. I walk away from what seemingly is wrong, small or big. I just get along with my life. Roads are messy, politicians are crooks, office is political, busses are rickety, drivers are arrogant, prices are rising, drains are clogged, hotter days, traffic is slower, shop keepers are ruder, bomb blasts are a routine… and still my life just goes on. The plane crashed, a bomb blast took a train apart, a full family dies on the way to meet an ailing relative, a seasoned driver and a very charitable & helpful person dies of a small mistake – took his seat belt off while on a highway… I am still in status quo.
I feel the pain when I hear all this… from a wrapper shot into the lawn to the state of mind of a 4 yr old boy who has lost every one from his family in one shot. I feel scared. I feel worried, thinking life could be so short. But the strangest thing is, I feel numb.
I feel numb, and a song comes back to me time and again…
The child is grown.
The dream is gone.
And I have become,
Comfortably Numb
But I did nothing. I walked past them and came back to my desk. I do that often when I come to think of it. I walk away from what seemingly is wrong, small or big. I just get along with my life. Roads are messy, politicians are crooks, office is political, busses are rickety, drivers are arrogant, prices are rising, drains are clogged, hotter days, traffic is slower, shop keepers are ruder, bomb blasts are a routine… and still my life just goes on. The plane crashed, a bomb blast took a train apart, a full family dies on the way to meet an ailing relative, a seasoned driver and a very charitable & helpful person dies of a small mistake – took his seat belt off while on a highway… I am still in status quo.
I feel the pain when I hear all this… from a wrapper shot into the lawn to the state of mind of a 4 yr old boy who has lost every one from his family in one shot. I feel scared. I feel worried, thinking life could be so short. But the strangest thing is, I feel numb.
I feel numb, and a song comes back to me time and again…
The child is grown.
The dream is gone.
And I have become,
Comfortably Numb
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