The Bonding Agent

The best way to get along with someone is to find out whom they hate… People love the ones who hate whom they hate…

I am not saying this off the hook, I have experienced it. More often than not people bond, pretty strongly at that, over things they love to hate. “Have you seen the way she acts around that boy? She is such a *****!” And an unbreakable bond is born.
The other day, I happen to meet up with my friends. I was noticing how my wife was getting along with one friend of mine in particular. The girls were giggling unstoppably and they were even sharing starters and drinks! To many it might sound very ordinary, but men would understand why that is so weird. I was curious, how my wife, who is a slow starter, was getting along with this specific person so well… This thought kept me awake…not in the nights, just the afternoons

Slowly it dawned upon me. The two of them I knew for a fact hated one of our common friends. The mention of her name sent the eyebrows to form the customary arches and the giggles follow.

We love to hate and we love who can hate whom we hate… When I come to think of it, a common reason to hate might actually be the biggest bonding agents. It works for people – men, women, even children.

A: I hate carrots!
B: I hate carrots too… I dunno how someone can eat them. You know what else I hate, cabbage!
A: Oh! tell me about it.

Somewhere down the line of this conversation, you can be pretty sure the discussion would get very personal and they may even share facebook and twitter ids. So that they can keep in touch and talk about things they hate.

The bottom line – you wanna bond with someone…look for what they hate. It’s foolproof. And just for the record… I hate eggplant.